09 April 2012

H is for Hack Enslash!

Hack Enslash is a Star Player plays for Undead, Necromatic and Khemri teams.  We like him because he uses a chainsaw to carve up the opposition!  This is his player profile and background:


It was probably his idolization of retired star skeleton Barry Bigbones that led a young human lineman to arrange his own death and re-animation to become the latest Blood Bowl chainsaw sensation: Hack Enslash!


First appearing on the pitch in 2501, Hack is obsessed with breaking all his idol’s old records. He often talks to his beloved chainsaw, which he has named “Betsy”. Rumors abound concerning just how close the two really are, but Hack vehemently denies such allegations: “we sleep in separate caskets!”


Originally a member of the Champions of Death but now a free agent, there seems no lack of teams willing to pay his fee. Recently he was hired to play against the Westside Werewolves in an important play-off match. During the first half, one of the werewolves chewed off Hack’s left forearm and proceeded to run around the field with it. Minutes later the wolf swallowed the bones, but Hack
retrieved them soon enough (a rare instance of one-armed chainsaw use).


Hack plays every game according to his own agenda. In addition to the standard on-field maiming practices, he often roams the sidelines to take a swipe or two at any opposing players not currently in the match. He is best known, perhaps, for giving spectators in the front row a very “close” view of Betsy. In fact, his most ravenous fans (a sadistic lot that call themselves the Hack Pack) actually
jump out of the stands towards him in hopes of being decapitated by their hero. Of course, he never disappoints them!


Even though he has only been playing for a brief time, Hack Enslash already has a solid place in Blood Bowl history. He continues to amass fatalities and has grown into arguably the most popular chainsaw player in the game today.




CAREER STATS:
268 Player Fatalities (opposing team)
42 Player Fatalities (own team)
493 Civilian Fatalities (357 willing)
67 Referee Fatalities
2 Touchdowns


AWARDS:
Blood Bowl Network (BBN) Dirty Player of the Year (2502)
Player Most Likely (to get ejected from a game) (2502)
Bloodweiser Best Newcomer Medal (2501)
PlayBone Magazine Bachelor of the Year (2504)
Spike Magazine Star Player Rating: 298


GW Figure of Hack Enslash


3 comments:

  1. Ah, the old "werewolf runs off to bury a bone@ rule. I used to love that one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There was also a great "Werewolf stops next to a Treeman to take a leak" rule too :-)

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  2. Ahhhh, Blood Bowl, the sport of kings.

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