Fantasy

14 July 2024

Jundheim Jugulars: Blood Bowl League Round 1 Game 2

News from 'the Warden of the North' as Reilly plays his second Blood Bowl League game with his Vampire team, the Mighty Jundheim Jugulars, against Chaos team "Beeftown Express":




















Welcome back all fans of Blood Bowl! Right Stuff Reilly here bringing you the latest news from the Northern Blood Bowl league. This Match sees the new and hungry vampires of the Jundheim Jugulars taking the pitch against the freshly blessed Beef Town Chaos team.


While we were not using the special rules of the Vampire pitch, we did play using the special weather table of the "Creepy Castle" and the special Bat Ball (if on ground, it proceeds to bounce at the end of each player turn as a swarm of bats attempts to pick it up!). Unfortunately due to a rather bloodthirsty first game of the season, the side of Beef Town was forced to hire some less-than-ideal mercenary beastmen to fill out his roster whilst a Chaos Warrior and 2 Beastmen were resting up and recovering from their injuries. 

I take advantage of the dropped ball and run through the lines early in 1st half

The first half begins as I kick off to him and set up rather aggressively, feeling confident with my strength advantage. My continued trend of gambling with kick location pays off as the ball falls close to the line.

The very first activation a fresh Beastman attempts to pick up the ball and fail, then electing not to reroll it. My aggressive defensive tendencies let me fully take advantage of the chance, and I run at least half my team at it the ball while tying up enough of the rest of his team. While I don't quite get my hands on it, we get 3 tackle zones on it. The household bats lurking within the rafters clearly remember who feeds them as they bounce the ball right into the hands of the thrower Viscount Freidrich Freudenburg V!

The Chaos coach, now regretting his decision not to train his team in anything other than punching, can't quite get enough players in the way to stop me handing the ball to the runner Lady Striga Drachenfeld and running far out of reach towards his endzone to score.
A fabled 2 turn defensive TD. 

Lady Striga makes a break for it and sprints downfield to score turn 2.

I set up again, now in awe of what my vamps are clearly capable of when not chomping themselves to death. I repeat my usual aggressive setup and prepare to pounce on potential repeated fumbless. Unfortunately, my gambling tendencies come back to bite me as the ball sails into the crowd granting a touchback. While the crowd and coaches watch the ball sail into the distance, the clearly imported Officious Ref(The new Throw a Rock) proceeds to come to blows with one of my thralls and leaves him eating the astrogranite for a few minutes.

The fearsome frontline of Beef Town while down a man, is still just as deadly as they proceed to knock down my frail front line of thralls but the Vargheist Duke Viktor von Dragoslav holds strong, but alone. After enjoying the classic Chaos pastime of violence, he sets up a wall of players but leaves a gap around the edges alone the sideline. I am far enough up to be able to zip some vamps and thralls around the side while blocking the Vargheist through the center. The regularly scheduled content of a midfield brawl ensues and I manage to spill the ball near the wide zone.

Amongst all the chaos(heh) in the center, the young Thrall Piotr gets caught up in all the bloodlust and summons to courage to kills a Journeyman Beastman by the name of Jeff "the Hunger". The Chaos gods take their tithe as the Chaos Warrior known as "The Mountain" injures the Thrall Nikolai out of next weeks game. Luckily given enough time, the Vampire strength and agility advantages pull through as the Viscount Freudenburg grabs ahold of the ball again and moves downpitch with his entourage.

The Chaos team becomes lost in the violence and he lets me score while attempting put the hurt into my precious bloodbags but the lush carpet of the manor saves my thralls for now. The Vamps score turn 6 and Beef Town have 2 turns left in the half to attempt to score... but just decide to get punching instead, knocking out a Thrall. My Vampires decide to indulge for the last turn of the half, and the Viscount Freudenburg casualises a beastman in return.

End of Half, Vamps 2-0. 



We set up for the second half, feeling confident when seeing the scoreline and matched number of casualties. He sets up a pretty standard defense, holding the Chaos warriors in reserve to blitz into any potential cages. I match with a strong left side planning to play a pretty classic bubble running game down the left widezone, with the middle held up by the Blitzer Baron Gregor van Kraus and a few Thralls. Unfortunately for me, as the ball sails straight into the hands of the Viscount the same Officious ref(who had clearly been paid off) decides to give my beloved vampiric Baron a talking to while the game continues around him for the first turn ... leaving my center wide open to be smashed through. Ruh Roh.

Offensive momentum now a little shaky, we push forward and blitz down Chaos Warrior Biff 'Chrome' with the might of the Duke, daring the chaos side to match his strength. The Lady Striga runs down the sideline enjoying the now wide open wide zone. The Viscount bubbles up around the backfield and hands the ball to the teams other thrower, Count Edgar Diedrich III. Half the chaos team run forward and swamp the bubble, attempting to apply pressure a stop me moving forward. The other half took the taunting from the Varghiest personally and swamp him attempting to bring him down... and fail. 

Unfortunately for him, the distraction screen of the Vargheist made him forget about the runner Lady Striga and doesnt even mark her with a player! A few blocks here and there allows for Count Diedrich III to calmly stride forward, lob the ball to the runner and she runs in for a clean 2 turn touchdown via Air Vamps. 

3-0 Vamps.

We both set up a measly 9 man team due to the few KOs and casualties between us so far, and we get back to duking it out. I send vamps around the side again to pressure the ball carrier, sticking to the gameplan of pressure, pressure, pressure. Completely unsuprisingly, a massive mob forms in the middle between the Varghiest, some thrall chewtoys, and the Chaos Warriors. My Runner and Thrower begin headhunting the ball carrier and push him towards his endzone. 


One lone Beastman Joe "Platter" breaks free of the moshpit and the ballcarrier Joe "Hasslehoof" manages to panic lob it to him. Lady Striga realises the mistake of overextending and BOOKS it back to mark the ball, graciously dodging through the moshpit. Luckily, the Baron makes it out of the clutches of the moshpit with a few lucky dodges and gets a blitz on the ball with no rerolls... and only succeeds in pushes him even closer towards the endzone. Shit.

Its now out of my hands, all he needs is a 3+ dodge(with no team re-rolls left) and hes in to score with Joe 'Platter'. As the crowd waits with baited breath..... SPLAT. Joe falls flat on his face. The crowd erupts in a chorus of cheers and bleats.

After only just learning that Vampires can sweat, Lady Striga swoops in and picks up the ball but can't quite get out of threat range of the downed Joe Platter and his one beastman friend who managed to remember what the ball is. Joe "Platter" stands up, eyes full of anger at being embarassed on World Wide Cabalvision, eager to redeem himself.... and trips over the outstretched food of the Baron who was marking him. Lady Striga runs up pitching hoping to last ditch lob it downfield to the Viscount Freudenburg in the dying hours of the game. However "The Mountain" decides that he has to do everything and proceeds to make a string of dodges to blitz Lady Striga to the ground. 





I foil his attempted score halfway through 2nd half at the last possible moment.

In the last turn of the game I realise I have one possible hail mary opportunity at another touchdown.... but before that lets do some fun blocks. The Duke Viktor von Dragoslav then proceeds to remind us that he is in charge around here and kills his only Chaos Warrior with block, Biff  'Chrome'. Luckily the Chaos gods can see Biff's potential long career of violence ahead and him and spare him, and allow the the apothecaries to reduce it to a MNG.

Now my reroll-less hail mary play. Count Diedrich III needs to pass bloodlust(2+), dodge through a tackle zone(2+), pick up the ball(2+), rush twice(2 x 2+), Long Pass(4+ for accurate), and then the Viscount Freidrich Freudenburg V needs to catch(2+), Pass bloodlust(2+), and walk into the endzone.
The crowd can see the madness about to occur and go eerily quiet...

He passes the Bloodlust...
He dodges through onto the ball...
He picks up the ball...
Passes rush #1...
Passes Rush #2...
The Pass is as straight and accurate as an arrow...
... and the ball smacks straight into the daydreaming forehead of the Viscount.

3-0 Victory to the Jundheim Jugulars.
4-2 Casualties in favour of the vampires.

MVPs went to the Duke Viktor von Dragoslav and "The Mountain".


The Duke enjoys the thrill of killing
Beef Town's prized Chaos Warrior... momentarily.

Following the game, Lady Striga picked up the Dodge skill to help her pull of some sheer nonsense and up her survivability whilst the Duke manages to pick up Block as his first skill! The Vampire lord manages to save the dying beastman Jeff "the Hunger" and recruit him as a "willing" thrall to the Vampire team. The team then spent the game's winnings on an Apothecary and an additional new thrall recruited from the local Jundheim villages by the name of Alexei.

So with this win, the league standings show the Jugulars in third position of the 11 teams, sitting just beneath The Red Gentlemen(Khorne), and tied with Disturbingly Dank Denizens(Underworld) and Da Git Krumpers(Orcs... and their opponent next week!).



And more importantly, the Vargheist Duke Viktor von Dragoslav is now tied for the title of League's leading casualty generator!


And thats the game. Violence, Touchdowns, and sheer shenanigans. Sounds to me like some perfect bloodbowl. 

Thanks to my opponent for a brilliant game, and I look forward to more nonsense next week!
As for you bloodbowl fans, you can catch us next week as we follow the progress of this promising up and coming Vampire team when they take on Da Git Krumpas.
 - Right Stuff

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